Presenting problem: lack of self-worth
Session 1
Ann never felt good enough. She often 'broke down' in front of boyfriends because she didn't feel good enough for them. She doesn't want them to see the ugly part of her. She is paying her boyfriend's mother's utility bills. She resents this, but feels bad because, she says, an honest person would admit to feeling bad about it, and a good person would not feel bad at all. And she wasn't good enough for university, she told herself. She tries so hard to be good – which to her means moral, mainly.
This part of her is 12–14 years old. It says to her, 'The truth is, you're not good enough.' She doesn't know who her father is; the relationship had ended before she was born. Her mother hadn't planned her or really wanted her. She has a 'dreadful' relationship with her mother. From age six she had a stepfather who she gets on very well with, but 'as a mate'.
She had tried hypnosis once before on a health farm. She hadn't much trusted the authoritarian therapist, but had gone into trance none the less.
I used an Elman-style induction (direct, standard hypnosis, with emphasis on achieving depth of trance), then took her back to childhood. Did she feel good enough at age five, as she prepared for her first day at school? No. She was a 'good girl', but didn't feel good enough. I took her to her first steps. These were at her grandparents' house. She took three steps to her nan. She was a good girl, but she didn't feel good enough.
I took her back to being at the breast. She told me she hadn't been breastfed, but her fingers – I'd set up the signals initially – said she had (finger signals will often give a different answer to the voice in trance; they seem to operate at a deeper level). The breast was inviting, the milk was nutritious; she felt safe and loved, and good enough.
I took her forward to the first instance of not feeling good enough. At about two years, her mum (a teacher) had lots of college teachers around. They pretty much ignored her. She wanted her mum's attention and didn't get it. I helped her to give herself the love, support and reassurance she needed and to experience it as a child. After crying, she smiled.
We took her to the next time she didn't feel good enough. It was when she was nine years old, at the birth of her (half) sister – who she really loved. She felt she should 'shuffle off' after hearing someone say, 'Your stepfather must have been so happy to have his own child.'
She felt not good enough because she didn't have a proper father. I said she could see that, though she wanted a proper father, not having one didn't mean she wasn't good enough. She agreed, and cried. Again, I asked her adult self to giver her young self the love and support she needed and to experience it as the child.
Session 2
At the age of 16 or 17, Ann started eating secretly. She was doing A levels and expected to do well. She is 'drawn' to eat horrible things, she said, like the fat from meat, pizzas from the horrible food joints around Leicester Square. She does this to prove she's not good enough. She has disliked her body since the age of nine or ten. At the age of 10 she went to Weight Watchers with her mum. This confirmed her view of herself, she said. She thought that her mother made her go.
I put her into trance, using an imaginary dial to measure depth; set up finger signals and used hand levitation (to deepen the state). I took her back to Christmas at age seven; age eight; age nine. She felt fine about her body. Not an issue.
Then I took her to an hour before she went to Weight Watchers. She was embarrassed about going. She both wanted and didn't want to go. But she had to go. She was overweight. Was she overweight at age nine? No. Something had happened since she returned to school after the summer holiday. What had happened? Her mother had told her to wear a bra. Here was a girl, barely ten, who had to wear a bra. So now we knew. She was embarrassed about her developing breasts. What did she need? Someone to tell her it was okay to feel embarrassed. I told her to go ahead and do that. Tears. It was nothing to do with being fat. She now remembered that she had insisted on going to WW to get thin (so her breasts wouldn't be noticeable). She grew up with a negative view of her breasts which she still had. We encouraged the part to grow up now. I gave her positive messages about feeling good about her breasts.