What to expect
Making the decision
I appreciate that the decision to get therapy or coaching is often very difficult and can require considerable courage - and often financial sacrifice.
In Britain at least, therapy and coaching are often only considered when a problem has become compelling. In fact, everyone has issues that would benefit from such help. Of course, you are probably ambivalent about resolving your particular problem. That is the nature of problems! If it was easy or comfortable there wouldn't be a problem. However, a 'problem' doesn't have to be a malady of monstrous proportions. Anything that gets in the way of achieving what you want is a problem.
The process of determining and resolving your problems and achieving your goals is almost certainly quicker and easier than you dare hope. Most people don't realize that, with contemporary approaches, even very severe and longstanding problems can usually be overcome comparatively quickly. This may not your expectation — or even your experience — since traditional psychotherapy is often long and arduous.
I like to think that I'm different from the majority of therapists and coaches, both in the combination of contemporary therapeutic approaches I practise and in the results achieved. My method, Temporal Modelling, is unique and — at least until I publish the book and launch the training — not available elsewhere. It enables us readily to identify (and then resolve) the sources of your issue.
What follows is a simplified summary typical of what you can expect and answers to common questions.
The therapy process
On your first – and possibly only – appointment, after identifying and discussing the problem or issue, we find out what it is you want, your goal. We explore what it's like to have what you want instead of the problem. After we are clear about what you want, we explore the present situation (the present manifestation of the problem) to find out what's stopping you from getting what you want.
This block to your goal, or the problem or symptom, takes the form of uncomfortable feelings and emotions. These feelings are unpicked and identified. The source of the uncomfortable feelings is in past experience — very often childhood. Finding the problem’s sources is usually surprisingly easy (although there may be many contributing sources).
We revisit those experiences and resolve the issues relating to them. That is to say, we help you to reprocess the experiences so that they no longer have any controlling power over you. We also help you to utilize additional resources, such as positive beliefs or feelings, to help empower you in the present.
We return to the present and check that the feelings underlying the problem are no longer there and that the path to your goal is now clear. We check to make sure that you can't get your problem back.
During this process we might apply techniques from EMDR and NLP; we might use hypnosis; and we will probably use Temporal Modelling, muscle testing and techniques from kinesiology, including EFT and TAT. We will do what is most appropriate for you and what you feel comfortable with. You are in control of the whole process. It is you who do the healing; I just give you the appropriate opportunities to make this possible.
The aim is not simply to make you feel better. To do that you can get pills from the doctor! We resolve the causes of the problem. After the intervention, you will not be able to get back the bad feelings or negative beliefs from those causes. The issues will have been completely resolved. Your goals will now be achievable or you will at least be a step closer to them.
When the problem persists
Many problems — even very serious and longstanding ones — are resolved completely after only a few sessions.
Sometimes, however, if the problem has many strands, even after effective intervention and a temporary alleviation of the symptoms, the problem returns — and perhaps seems worse. Some people are tempted to terminate therapy at this point, reasoning that the problem is still there and so the therapy isn't working. Some people chase from one therapist to another — not because the therapy isn't helping (which would a good reason to terminate it!), but because they won't exercise the patience to see a process through.
When a problem returns, or re-emerges in a new form, in all likelihood the therapy is working. The situation is that some aspects of the problem have been completely resolved, but that other aspects have begun to present themselves. It is these aspects that haven’t yet been addressed by the therapy that they are experiencing. These aspects were more deeply hidden and buried, but now the way is clear for them to come through and they are demanding attention.
If you want to know whether the therapy is working, the question to ask yourself is this: have the aspects that we have addressed during the therapy been resolved? In other words, when you think of those now processed experiences which previously made you feel bad, do you now feel neutral? If so, the answer is definitively positive! There may be a number of sources or contributory factors relating to the problem, but after we address them, each should be completely resolved and won't return. Even if the problem itself persists, you are on course to resolving it completely. You may need perseverance at this point to see the process through.
Trusting the process
Sometimes the therapy seems to relate only indirectly to the presenting problem. It often happens, for example, that people who come to quit smoking find themselves addressing problems from childhood that they really didn't expect to come up; or a client wanting to resolve an anxiety or fear finds that an episode in their life they'd rather forget emerges during therapy.
The most important principle of therapy is to work with whatever comes up. It's very important to trust the therapeutic process, because your unconscious body will lead us exactly where we need to go — and sometimes it may be necessary to take a different route to the destination than the one that was expected.
How many sessions?
How long therapy takes is really a question of how many aspects or contributory factors the problem has. Usually not every factor needs to be addressed, since the benefits of therapy tends to generalize across experiences. By addressing an experience that is representative of a class, the body deals with similar experiences automatically. As these factors are cleared, the problem resolves.
When a problem has a specific cause or a limited set of causes, usually between one and three sessions are all that are required. Sometimes one session is enough; less often as many as five are needed.
For people who have experienced more traditional forms of psychotherapy or other methods of alternative health, or have struggled for years without effective help, it's often difficult to believe that deep and seemingly intractable problems can be remedied so quickly. However, by finding and resolving the precise causes of an issue, and applying modern therapeutic methods, it really can be this quick and miraculous. But talking is not enough: effective intervention involving processing of the traumatic material is required.
But some problems have many strands. If, for example, you had a severely abusive or neglected childhood, many more sessions may be helpful. When more than five sessions are required, the cost is reduced.
Although success cannot be guaranteed, it is extremely rare for a problem not to be satisfactorily resolved given our joint commitment and endeavour (both therapist and client are equally responsible for the success of the process). I would not want to take payment from anyone who felt they hadn't been helped. You have nothing to lose. The chances are you'll be amazed at the progress you make! Call now for an appointment.